I THINK IT"S SO FUNNY HOW LIFE IS SO GOOD AND BAD AT THE SAME TIME
I DON' T THINK HAPPINESS IS MEANT FOR EVERYONE .LIKE REALLY WHO WANTS TO BE HAPPY ALL THE DAMN TIME .A DAY IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF DIFFERENT EMOTIONS,WHETHER PAIN OR JOY.LOVE OR HATE . I WOULD TOTALLY WRITE A BOOK CALLED 365 DAYS OF COMPLETE UTTER EPIC FAILURES .THAT WAS MY LIFE STORY .BUT IM A  NEW PERSON , I HAVE DEVELOPED INTO  THIS HAS A HARDER AND TALLER WALL ,DEFENSE WALL.I WANT TO MARRY A DRUG DEALER . WHY ,YOU ASK ? BECAUSE I WANT TO DISAPPOINT MY FAMILY, JUST SO THEY CAN LEAVE ME ALONE. WE ARE SO A FUCKING FAKE HAPPY WITH SO MANY DAMN CRACKS IN THE SURFACE. ( THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE )TYPE OF THING.I HAVE THIS NEW YORK ATTITUDE.ALL I WANT HIS MY DRUG DEALER.SOME ONE FIRM , BUT SECRETLY LOVING.NOT WITH PDA ALL THE DAMN TIME .I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SWEATY HANDS. LIKE DUDE GET IT TOGETHER. SOME ONE WHO RUNS THEIR HOUSE, NOT AROUND IT . THE FUNNY PART OF THIS IS THAT I DON'T REALLY WANT TO MARRY THIS PERSON.CAUSE MY BITCH ASS STILL WANTS TO PLEASE HER FAMILY.LIKE CAN YOU BELIEVE ME ?????? I DON'T BELIEVE ME !!!!!!!! I HAD THIS PERFECT GUY NAMED STEVE.NO HE WASN'T A DRUG DEALER . HE WORKED IN A SHOE STORE. THAT WAS LAST TIME I REMEMBER BEING REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY. I MEAN I WAS SMILING UNAWARE . THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME , I FEEL BAD SMILING WHEN MY LIFE IS REALLY REALLY REALLY CRAPPY IN REAL LIFE. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT.PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL YOU TO SMILE WHEN YOU ARE NOT SMILING.BUT I AM BACK TO BEGINNING , WHO THE HELL WANTS TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. THE ANSWER IS ME AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE ( I GUESS )BUT YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME UNLESS YOU ARE PERFECT .QUESTION : WHAT THE FUCK IS PERFECTION ????? PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS

PASSION

He moans when i ride him
his hot slick skin rubs against mine
our hearts beat together in a rhythm as old as man
my fingers scratch his back as if I'm digging in his soul
he use his length to bring me pleasure only a woman could understand
so as he pound his essence in my soul
i will go higher and higher as i touch the heavens

hello

hellos are hard,
You don't know what to say,
You would look at me,
But I'd look the other way.

I blushed every time I saw you,
You talked to me every day,
You smiled, and you laughed,
But once again I looked away,

Finally one day,
You talked to me once more,
And finally I got the courage,
to say hi and not ignore.

From that point on,
We were together every day

so on this blessed day

we call valentine's day

i thanked the day you said hello

LONELY

sometimes it better to be lonely then love somebody
cause being lonely will not give you heartache
it will protect your heart from everything that could hurt you
being in love is the most wonderfully and devastating thing i will ever know
as i write this these tear drops fall on my keyboard

cause i still don't know which one you are gonna end up to be you can break my heart in a million little pieces or make it bigger and stronger that why im so scared of how perfect we fitted each other
cause nothing has ever went right for me
here you come in my life like a beam of sunshine
i rather be scared shitless with you or be lonely without you

A MOTHER LOVE

what I feel is abandonment and isolation
But you will never know that
Cause you are worried about other
people hurting me
Not realizing you hurting me the most
Not giving me what i need the most
A mother love
That why me and Simone clicked so well
You will never know that i hated coming home to that blasted home
That why i come home at 5 instead 4:30
I rather be with my misguided friends
Then come home to your mother love
I realized a perfect mother love doesn't exist
There will always a crack in a mother love
You claimed that tough love is the way to go
But have you thought about how it hurts me
How i can't trust you with my most inner fears and secrets
Scared of how you are going to laugh and called them petty fears
Ashamed of how happy I'm with tylique
Caused you tell me " what make me happy, will soon bring tears "
I'm upset with my trust issues
I'm afraid of being happy
Me being happy won't make you happy
So all i ever dream of is achieving your mother love
Day in DAY out ......that goal gets father away
I WILL NEVER KNOW A MOTHER LOVE